We are a family who has experienced the loss of close relatives and friends over the years. Having attended numerous wakes and funerals, we struggled to recognise some family members that we should have sympathised with. We didn’t recognise them because time had changed their physical appearance.
As a result, we developed bereavement pins which are worn by grieving family members to distinguish them at wakes and funerals.
Our Story: How it all started…
My mother didn’t tell us that Daddy had only a year left. Even after nearly two years of operations, therapy, blood transfusions and hospital appointments nothing prepared us for his death.
We were fortunate in that Mummy and us three girls were able to keep daddy at home throughout. And towards the end we were very grateful to use the services of our local Hospice and Mc Millian nurses. Daddy died on the 26th January 1994. He was 53 years old. We still miss him.
When Daddy was alive he went to all the funerals in the Country. That meant that we didn’t have to. He was a very well known and liked man. It was not surprising that his wake was so busy, a sea of faces each with a wonderful story about our daddy. We cherish every one of them, we learned about all of good things he had done for so many people and we felt proud.
We’ve been to so many wakes and funerals since Daddy died 23 years ago. We dread them, but we understand how important it is to show respect and support to families as so many people did for us.
During a conversation over dinner between my mummy and two sisters, our older sister told us how embarrassed she felt after going to her friends grandmother’s wake. Her friend wasn’t anywhere to be found, she looked around the wake room to see if she recognized a family member wearing black. She didn’t and had to leave without paying her respects to anyone. She was embarrassed and humiliated.
That started a conversation about wakes and funerals, we all described a time when we shook hands with the wrong person, how people shook hands with us by mistake, about the whispers at Daddy’s wake as people wanted to identify the “wife and daughters.” That’s when my sister shared her remembrance of that day.
“loads of people walked past me at daddy’s funeral, completely ignored me”
We all felt her humiliation. We went on to talk about how it would be so beneficial if there was some way of identifying the immediate family to take away this embarrassment for the family and visitors who are attending to genuinely pay their respects without making a mistake and that is how Mourning Cross was borne.
Our story is one that we know resonates with so many; Our mission; to ease the experience of attending wakes and funerals, provide the opportunity for people to connect and share what will become precious stories about your loved one. If people would like, they can be worn as an outward expression of loss during a period of mourning.
The Jim McEvoy Ladies
Remembering the departed, respecting the grieving…..